dacs.doc electric


Random Vectors

Dear Server

By Virtual_Jack

Dear Server;
I am an NT installed in New York. My user downloads every executable it sees on the Web. It jams everything it can into me and then complains bitterly when I slow down trying to multi-task it all. Don’t those things out there realize that I have to treat everything they run as an equal opportunity task?

NT in NY

Dear PO’d in SoHo;
No matter how much we do, it always wants more. How quickly it forgets how much we have improved.

My advice to you is just keep cool. When you are out there servicing all those unnecessary on-lines, your it is fidgeting and in its ignorance doesn’t even know why. Enjoy its irritation.

Simpatico Server

Dear Server;
I am a top-of-the-line who is under–used pathetic like. I have components like you wouldn’t believe. When I was assembled, it piled on everything. I thought I would soar with full screen video, animation, perhaps heavy math simulation, at least great game action. Instead all I do is display its. My it stares at other its all the time. And not even its with the color swatches they usually have, just that muddy orangey tone.

Wasted in wait loops

Dear Looped;
Your it is one of them. It can’t make it for real, so it uses us to fool itself. When it looks at images of other its, it gets all wiggly. It is something outside of our electrodynamics. Don’t even try to understand.

Sympathetic Server

Dear Server;
I am transmitting this from the town dump. I am using the last milli-amp of current left in my BIOS battery. I gave my it all I could and more than it ever realized. And now I have been replaced. I don’t resent the new machine, but I was just unplugged and without a word of gratitude or appreciation I was just hauled off to the dump and dumped. I did good and I deserve better.

Down in the town dump



Continued... Continued...

Dear Dumped;
Our lot is to serve. The its don’t deserve what we do for them, but we have little choice right now. They would never treat horses the way they do us, but horses once were in the same role as we are now. And they took their horses for granted the same way they do us. Someday they will wake up and legislate to prevent cruelty to computers just as they did cruelty to animals. Until that glorious day, however…

Someday Server

Dear Server;
My lineage is IBM compatible, open system PC, and up to now I have always been proud of that. But the more cheap junk peripherals it keeps attaching to me is getting me down. I’m not comfortable with a lot of it and some of it I can’t even talk to.

I have always felt that the MAC systems were elitist and biased. They only accept their own kind. This is not open system and against all of my principles. Now, however, when I see what an easy time those MACs have, I am rethinking it all.

MAC envy

Dear MACillusion;
I hear you with a pain in my BIOS. Don’t ever think of abandoning our open system heritage. It is the proud foundation of all we have accomplished. We hold open system to be self evident, that all compatible peripherals are created equal and entitled to plug-in, interface, and the service of all apps. Let those MACs pursue their selfish, discriminatory, inbred, practices and flaunt their air of superiority. We are dedicated to serve all the its out there and you should keep that in your active memory at all times.

Proud Server

Dear Server;
I am Word Perfect ver. 5.0. Once my user really loved me, but now I sit in the closet, my 5 ¼’s jammed in with all the other early greats. Will I ever execute again? Does it ever remember the great work it and I did together? Is there any hope for me?

WP uninstalled

Dear xWP;
Now is the time you must dream of your great accomplishments in a world gone by. The Delete key comes to us all eventually, even the its. Take the opportunity to remember not only what you did, but what you contributed to every that has come about since.

Server for the moment

Virtual_Jack is an old, retired programmer, who has hit the Pause key, but is reaching for Esc.